The Carnival Cruise Song (with apologies to John Denver)

From the files of the Department of Contract Musicology, Cheryl Preston (BYU) offers a ditty about the Supreme Court’s most famous standard-form contract case.

Tenors should sing it in the key of G . . . .  Click on the link below for the lyrics.

The Carnival Cruise Song

lyrics by
Cheryl Preston & Dan Nichols

music by
John Denver

[to the tune of Leaving on a Jet Plane]

All my bags are packed
I’m ready to go
I’m standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up with bad news
But the ticket’s here
And its a form
We waive all rights
But that’s the norm.
Already I’m so nervous I could cry.

CHORUS
We can’t file against Carnival
Even if we slip and fall
Unless we follow our forum selection clause
And we have to get on a jet plane
Florida’s where we have to claim
But a court just might let us out!

Well, the decks were wet
We had a slip and fall
But the ‘deck’ is stacked
There’s no reason to call
Carnival never waives its terms at all.

When we got the terms
It was too late
We were way past the refund date
There was no bargaining and no way to know

CHORUS
And we can’t get on a jet plane
Florida’s too far for our claim
Oh, Court, please just let us out!

There’s so many terms that reached too far
So many clauses that seemed too harsh
I tell you now
They shouldn’t mean a thing

But the Supreme Court enforces them
Especially when I’m reading them
So we might as well just be on our way

CHORUS
And we can’t get on a jet plane
Florida’s too far for our claim
Oh, Court, please just let us out!

The Carnival Cruise Song