Steve Urkel on relational contracts

From Family Matters (ABC-TV):

     Steve Urkel: I have a spectacular evening planned!
     Laura:  We’re not going anywhere until the ground rules are straight.  First of all, this is not a real date.  It’s a “non-date”. Second, no one must ever know about this “non-date”. Third, if you touch me at any time, the “non-date” is over.
     Steve Urkel:  Well, what if you trip or something?
     Laura:  Just let me fall!  The rest of the rules are covered in this contract.
     Steve Urkel: [reading] “No mouth breathing, no snorting, no drooling.”  Who does these things?  They’re disgusting. Where do I sign?