Hey, nobody messes with Corporate America

Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Terrell (“T.O.”) Owens and his agent, David Joseph, have been sued by a company called Formulated Sciences, Inc., which makes “sports and nutritional supplements” like the “fat burner” Düzoxin (pictured). The slightly bizarre press release short on details but long on rhetoric:

“You [Owens] may be able to mock your teammates and disrespect your coaches on national television,” said Paul Edalat, President and Founder of FS. “But when it comes to a partnership with corporate America these acts will not be tolerated.”

FS will now look to the courts for justice. . . .

“A partnership or endorsement has responsibilities just like a marriage,” said Edalat. “Your acts on and off the football field may cause millions of dollars in damages to your corporate sponsors and partners including putting many innocent employees jobs at risk.”

. . .

“T.O. always has claimed of wanting to go Hollywood, so here he will have one of his most important roles to date, defending himself in the court of law.” said Edalat.